Happy Wednesday! Today, I’m sharing my second Coffee Date! As I explained in my first installment (which you can read here), this is just a little monthly series I’ve taken from other bloggers to give you the chance to learn a little more about me and be a little more serious. Because life’s not all outfits and Instagrams.
One of my signature moves is freaking out over anything and everything. From big things like money and the trajectory of my life to little things like “will people eat the food I bring to this party?”. I’m not sure how I got this way, but more often than not, it’s really, really unnecessary to worry about the things I’m worried about.
For example, this past weekend, I participated in a 5K with my friends. I was super excited about it at first, but as it got closer, I started to get nervous, because I can’t run. Like, I physically can’t. I mean, I can perform the action of running, but no further than 100 yards tops without getting winded. It’s not because I never exercise, because I run/walk a few times a week, and I would consider myself to be pretty active. It’s because I only have one ventricle in my heart and my blood passively flows to my lungs, it isn’t pumped, so even though my heart rate rises when I exercise, my blood isn’t being oxygenated any faster, causing me to have to stop and catch my breath a lot quicker than everyone else. (Maybe one day I will give you the whole story on that, but for now the Spark Notes version will have to do). I’ve dealt with this my whole life, and it’s honestly never bothered me that much, but this time it was a little different.
For some reason I was so worried that I would start out running and then have to drop off really quickly and be left by myself for the majority of the course. I was worried that people would see me stop running after a short distance and think, “wow that girl is a wimp”. And finally, I was worried that in my desire to keep up I would push myself harder than I should and pass out or something (#dramatic). My friends know about my heart condition, and they told me that they were planning on walking most of the way, but I was still nervous. I showed up fully prepared to run all I could then start walking, then run again, then walk until I caught up with my friends. But then, the race started and we walked. The whole way. Until the end when we ran through the finish line, but it wasn’t very far, so I made it.
After it was over, I realized that I’d had nothing to worry about. I mean, my friends told me they were going to walk, and I should have known they weren’t going to leave me in the dust. This was a very tangible lesson for me, because I’ve been losing my crap about a lot of things lately, without a good reason just because I’m worried about something that will probably not even happen. I feel like this was God telling me, “You need to calm down because I’ve got this under control. All. Of. It.” Sometimes (okay most of the time) I really don’t like uncertain situations. I like to be in control and know what’s going to happen. But, that’s not how life works. A lot of times, we don’t know what’s happening until it’s over. And that’s why we have to have faith in God to work everything out according to his plans, even if they’re different from ours. I’m thankful he reminded me of this this past weekend!
Thank you for reading,